Original D*ck Haiku
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Harpytalons
50.00 USD
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Erotic Poetry Erotica D*ck Naming D*ck Rating D*ck Praise Sph Humiliation Praise Unique D*ck Penis Rating Penis Honest Honest Rating Rating Name Naming
More from Harpytalons
Harpytalons 
Wool Insoles: Last...
They still have a mild vinegar smell. I'm willing to put a few days wear on them for +$25 Ugg brand wool insole, never worn with socks. Size 11. Fluffy in some spots, ragged in others. I'll stick a dirty Foot right in a boot I don't even care. Free shipping to Continental USA only.
75.00 USD
Harpytalons
Old Worn Out...
It's time for these old favorites to retire. Worn overnight for sleep, after showers these panties have served me well. The elastic is wearing out and the cloth is threadbare. There are 2 holes in the front/crotch area Honestly, it's weird to me that someone might want them, but waste not, want not, so here you go, weirdos. Wear Date: March 14 night - thru March 15 morning. Just took them off and Sealed them in a ziploc for "freshness" LOL whyyyyyyy. Can wash and wear again on request so they're even "fresher" for an extra $5 tip. Otherwise they'll sit in that ziploc and ferment. About Me: Busty (40 DDD still small) hourgla** BBW mature blonde, prude in the streets, cougar in the sheets. 90s music is the best music. Thinks this whole thing is absurdly funny. Thinks it's even funnier that my husband would be so mad if he found out I was doing this. Free shipping to continental US Allergy Alert: Household has dogs 🐕
35.00 USD
Harpytalons
Annoying Customer Tax...
It's you. Hi. You're the problem, It's you. It's been a long day and I'm here to tell you that you are painfully stupid. You are a thief of time and energy and you have no god damned clue you blissfully unaware yet somehow supremely entitled sh*tbird. You are rude, cra**, abrasive, and full to the brim with audacity, cringe, and unearned self esteem. You are where our faith in humanity goes to die. For every question you've asked that you could have googled yourself you will pay me. For every unsolicited opinion or moronic piece of "advice" you've foisted on an overworked underpaid person, you will pay me. For every time you've emotionally or verbally abused a person just trying to do their job and make a living because you were having a bad day, you will pay me not once, not twice, but thrice. Did you want something in return for your money? Try sucking less. It's 100% free and comes with a free 30 day trial. Rules: Pay up and shut up. Don't talk to me. Don't message me. Just don't. You're a garbage person and I hate you.
10.00 USD
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D*ck Ratings...
If your interested in knowing what I think about your d*ck I’ll give it a rating, even tho it’s probably a little shrimp anyways 😉 To clarify pricing starts at $5 for detailed written text $10 for sent video $15 for video call
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Let Me Rate...
Let me rate your penis, your profile picture and any other body parts 😙
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Let Me Rate...
Text replies or can send as an audio message if you’d prefer , can be brutal , genuine , humiliating , honest or ego building and worshipping Let me know what you need 💋 Group rating avaiable for a small extra fee - message me x
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